I have chosen my Abba’s (father in Hebrew) Yahrzeit, Yom Hazikaron, the anniversary of his death, may his memory be for a blessing, as the launch date of the website for The Institute for Holiness: Kehilat Mussar. 

This website and The Institute have been a labor of love, of great time and dedication to bring to fruition, and all the support and balanced middot (soul-traits) that went into these projects are emulations of him: how he lived his life before me, how he parented me, and even the stillness and silence he practiced. He was and will remain the par excellence of: ​​“…speak little, but do much; and receive all people with a pleasant countenance.” – Shamai, Pirkei Avot 1:15

He was the most disciplined and dedicated man to his family that I have ever known. He oriented his life to be of service to his parents, his sister who lives with mental illness, and his spouse and children. He worked so that he could provide for them and us. There was no questioning about this. There was no resentment about this. This was just the way things were for him. He also radically accepted his family just the way we were. He never demanded of us to be something different than what we were. He made anyone feel that they belong.

So, you can imagine how surprised I was to learn from him on his deathbed that what he admired about me most was how brave I was; how I left family to go and do what I felt I needed to do at that time; that I prioritized myself over staying with family. He said that he always wished that he could have gone and done that…and said no more.

So my whole image, my whole projection onto this man, was shattered at this moment. I never knew he compromised what he desired in order to be with and provide for family. Suddenly, all these hidden middot, soul-traits, so strong and balanced, shone through that I previously was never mindful of: his bravery, his strength, his self-restraint, his humility, his carrying the burden.

So, let us all say thank you to the Creator of all for bringing Frederick William Steinbauer, Saryah ben Eldon v’Miriam (סריה בן אלדון ומרים), into this world, who then enable me to arrive at this moment. Thank you for all of our supporters for this holy occasion: 

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יהוה, אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, שֶׁהֶחֱיָֽינוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמָן הַזֶּה

Baruch Ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Haolam, shehechiyanu, v’kiy’manu, v’higianu lazman hazeh.

Blessed are You Our God King of the Universe who has given us life, sustained us and enabled us to arrive in this moment.